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Amy, Amy, Amy; wasn’t bewitching our TV screens and magazines enough for you, that you had to exploit the daily mail with this synthetic massacre too. Oh you vacuous, artificial, narcissist, contemptible little ‘tart’. How you make my blood run cold, you and your incessantly successful career, with your absurd alternate universe, which is overseen by an apotheosis- blonde barbie Soon we’ll have to wake up day to day with Amy cereals, and Amy milk. Morrison’s shelf will be racking up with Amy’s homemade butter (this product contains traces of nuts and acrylic nails).Genuinity, authenticness, sincere these are just anomalies in her absurd alternate universe; which is overseen by an apotheosis, blonde Barbie. In a heavily celebrity dominated culture it’s a dog eat dog world, its Childs vs Price.

‘The stripped, eroticised, brazen, bed hopping and despicable photographed Amy Childs form is everywhere’

Amy Childs Diatribe – AS English... TOPICS SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU

You viewed her in recent times on televisual apocalypse that was Celebrity Big Brother 2011.How could you have missed her? She is the one with the fake boobs, diamante genital adornments, and a look in her eyes that says everything is inexplicable and new. In other words she is of low IQ. She has no particular talent, and consequently exemplifies the something-for-nothing, I-want-what’s-mine-even-though-it-isn’t-mine, shrill grubbiness of nowadays.

Yes you can defend her, tell me she’s the inventor of the Vajazzle and can give a fine spray tan, but would she have got where she is purely on her ability to diamante genitals? I think not. And besides, is it her fortitude and independence that young girls really see, or is it just the fake tan and falsies to the Botox and boob jobs or the nonsensical voluminous hair? Hints in the name as it only makes them look plastic, she’s even got a plastic, fake persona to match them boobs, but there again ‘’life in plastic, its fantastic…’’ I fret to even think the amount of young women aspiring to be like Amy Childs. The amount of make up she wears, I’m shocked her head isn’t weighed down to the floor.

The 21-year old glamour model/ Reality star/victim and master manipulator/magazine editor/artist known as Amy Childs has found a new project.

Yes, the rumors are true; Shut aaaaap! Noooo seriously its true, OH EM GEE! Amy Childs has her own TV series. A reality show in the vein of the 50 million identical shows that Jordan AKA Katie Price has “starred” in. Yes. Someone actually thought this woman was enigmatic enough to carry her own show. That someone does work at Channel 5, but still. Baffling.

TOWIE fragrances, what a tedious press launch, Well as if by magic Amy Childs had popped up to give her former castmates a little tutorial in how a press launch should be done. She endorsed her new reality TV show “It’s All About Amy” (Thurs, 10pm, Channel 5) in nothing but a bikini, some heels and some vajazzles. Yep it is undoubtedly, literally is ‘All About Amy’; that was one hell of an brainteaser, I’d never of guessed. The stripped, eroticised, brazen, bed hopping and despicable photographed Amy Childs form is everywhere; in reality shows, on advertising billboards Gosh! I just apprehended as to why the motorways have always been soo frantic. D’ya know what I mean!

‘It’s All About Amy’, the horror amongst horrors… A kind of TOWIE-meets-The Next Chapter-meets-Made in Chelsea-meets-Signed-by-Katie-Price. In short, a programme which makes you want to kill people, and then yourself. For alternatively it’s an Amy Child’s world and we have to live in it.

This is all basically a popularity contest, with all the barbarism of a high school prom queen election, but none of the day to day perception. Just to get in to the industrial of fame and fortune this is a requirement. Amy must have been conscious of her public image, a chintzy patchwork of overpaid, over competent (at times), over exposed, over easy, just … over.

Not only doing the show was enough, Nooooooo! She’s been following Pricey’s Guide to Fame and Fortune also she went on to taking Posh’s route to success by launching her debut clothing collection at Britain’s Next Top Model show and we’re stunned as to why it is that she is deemed deserving of her series/clothing line/free range to compose sentences without the supervision of a responsible adult. And still insufficient for the Queen of Diamantes, she started her own beauty range. Don’t worry ladies your beauty is in safe but tainted hands as being a tangy orange colour is the new natural. Then she went on to doing photo shoots for calendars, presumably men’s, and then slyly pinching Barbie’s townhouse and integrated it into her new salon, and having her own weekly column in New magazine, a page full of tips from Amy Childs.

God help us! Our children desperately need role models – and what the media gives them is heiresses, sex objects, surgery addicts, emotional wrecks and nude Amy Childs. We don’t want our children to be bombarded by images of oversexed, underdressed Amy Childs, who can’t seem to step out of a car without displaying her well-waxed, diamante genital adornments and boobs to photographers. The substantial effect she has on young girls everywhere, Mums will start to call their children “prosti-tots or even prosti-child’s’’, Young girls who dress like Amy, live for Louis Vutton purses, and spend ludicrously on bikinis, and neither can they spell words as ‘’adequate’’.

But being nude for Amy is customary, a familiarity, a tradition. And that is just for the famous people. By the year 2022, there’ll be a naked photo of everyone on the planet lurking somewhere in the interverse. You might as well take a really good one this afternoon, while you’re young and pliable, and upload it yourself before some future peeping-tom equivalent of WikiLeaks does it for you.

Amy’s become a more of a brand than a person. She’s become a commercial franchise and seen more like a social comment. Yet people idolize her, and devote their WHOLE lives to her. However all these carbon copy, assembly line celebrities walk around with reality shows to manipulate people and indoctrinate them as they want us to see the real them. And I give them a standing ovation, not just applaud for diabolical, scheming plans, to con us into thinking they are just like us. But the “real” them that they want us all to see is imaginary, something they fabricated while working their dead end job like the rest of us. The only thing that separates them from the rest of us is ego, and their artificialness. Where’s all the real women gone, I’d rather watch the Oprah Winfrey show, or Mother Theresa on TV, moralizing us about the poor and poverty than watching a blonde selfish bimbo throwing a tantrum like a Child, or just is stunned by a washing machine going round and round and round.

Sure I can go on and on about Amy Childs and why for her, life is child’s play, buts its up to you really, there are women who have achieved success in their field, who have made strides in science and technology, and who have fought to support women across the globe. A spray tan, boob jobs, vajazzles and a picture in the tabloids, or a Nobel Prize for Physics? I know which I’d rather have my daughters aspire to be.

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Kylie Garcia

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